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cobra cat
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Psychiatrist

Permanent Linkby cobra cat on Mon Jul 29, 2013 11:50 pm

So, my mom is making me look for a psychiatrist. She isn't going to be patient either. I think I made a mistake trying to be honest and be myself around her. I made a mistake telling her about my SPD. Tensions in my house are up, on their end at least. My step-father started yelling at me in a way that he has never done before, because I didn't say hi to him when he said 'whats up' to me. He basically yelled that 'you don't feel welcome here because you aren't', 'you feel like everything you do isn't good enough for us because you don't DO anything', 'you might as well be asking your mother to kick you out of the house' and 'I have had it with the disrespect (<- :? ) you show you your mother, and part of that is because *I* am the one who has to hear this $#1T all the time'. He later apologized for how far he went, but didn't apologize for yelling at me, saying that he should have done it sooner. He and my mom asked if I felt like a 'victim' of SPD, and I said "I guess", because I didn't choose to have it and because it has a negative effect on some areas of my life. I am not miserable or pouting here, I am fine with how I am, but evidently they are not. They then instituted new rules along the lines of 'your computer stays out in the dining room or living room from now on' and 'your room is for sleeping from now on, this is a living area, so live in it'. :cry: The rest of my summer is going to *suck*. Not that the rest of it was enjoyable. But suck as in worse than before. Can't wait to go back to school. Anyways, I think that looking into a psychiatrist when I will be here only a month more is stupid, but if it is the only way to get them off my back, fine. My friend offered to let me live with him and his parents next winter. I will consider it, but they are not made of money, so I should try and pay them if I decide to go that route. But then my mom might call in my loans to her. Might make me start paying all my own bills. I am not financially ready for that, especially if I pay rent at my friends house. I'm torn :|

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random stuff. bored rambling.

Permanent Linkby cobra cat on Thu Jul 18, 2013 7:08 am

I just bought Fallout NV for the Xbox the other day. Had it before for the PC, but I like it significantly better on the console. I was never able to enjoy any but the most simplistic of computer games. Consoles are easier on the brain, in my opinion. My timing for buying this game was excellent. I have been playing it nearly nonstop for almost a day and a half. Before, I was spiraling into a whirlpool of boredom and apathy. Now I have something to keep my mind occupied, which is all I wanted.

My mom lectured me this morning about how I'm not working, which is 'funny' because I am working now. I've had a job for 3 weeks now. I thought the job talks were over with, but I should have known better. My mom doesn't seem to ever truly settle for less than perfect. My job is pizza delivery. I have done it before, when I was in high school, for about a year. The place is in an unfamiliar area so I rely completely on a GPS but my prior experience makes the job a lot easier.

My mom keeps buying potato chips, the most overrated of snack foods (IMHO). We have 6 bags of potato chips, yet we do not have popcorn, anything sweet, nothing good. Sometimes we get cookies, and they are gone the next day, because they are the only good snack food. My food has comprised of potato chips, chex mix, and cheese slices on the days that I decide not to eat out. For more perspective, I drink larger than normal amounts of water, which I attribute to an infection that I had which at one point possibly spread to my kidneys. For this reason, potato chips are even worse in my mind than I used to think of them, which was always pretty bad. I cannot stand overly dry foods, I need to have a drink nearby whenever I eat anything of significance, or I will lose my appetite very quickly. My friend calls me a plant, because I apparently live off of water, eating food is to blend in :lol:. So I must photosynthesize in order to survive :lol:.

I realized that my car inspection is overdue. Apparently I had til the end of June to bring it in for inspection. I thought it was supposed to be by the end of July, but I guess thats my own fault for not checking.

From the time that my mom gets home from work (usually 5-5:30), until after 10pm (when she is almost certainly in bed), I don't eat. I do this to avoid my mom, but more importantly, to avoid her asking questions. Whether trivial or highly significant, I hate when she asks questions. If I am thirsty, I will very quickly grab 2 bottles of water and scurry back into my room. Minimal contact is the best option.

Anyhow, just my random thoughts, rants, and facts about myself. Enjoy.

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I feel...happy?

Permanent Linkby cobra cat on Fri Jul 12, 2013 8:13 pm

So for a decent chunk of the day today, I have felt happy. I don't really know why, and nothing special has happened all day. But I'm just sitting here with a smile on my face, and I'm not even faking it. Weird.

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Don't feel like doing anything

Permanent Linkby cobra cat on Tue Jul 02, 2013 5:23 am

The last few days I just want to do absolutely nothing but mindlessly watch Netflix. More so than normal. Even checking in on the forums seems like doing too much the last few days. I only read one thread during this visit before I gave up, not wanting to have to go through the effort of reading. I just wish I could sleep all day. It would eat up my time at least. I'm only writing this because I am forcing myself to do so, so I may look back on it later. Anyways, I wanted to keep it short, so now I am going to go to bed.

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Home

Permanent Linkby cobra cat on Wed Jun 26, 2013 2:23 am

I just got told that I probably won't be welcome living at home next summer, because of my current, temporary, joblessness, lack of 'respect' (<- ?), and the fact that I haven't sought help for my problems or talked to my parents about it. I am kinda relieved to be honest, but also uneasy. I will likely soon have to accept responsibility for my cell phone payments, car insurance, and car maintenance. Financial help will likely soon be out of reach. I must also figure out my future living situation. Theres a good likelihood my best friend would let me live with him for free if I wanted to. I guess that would likely depend on where he is living by next years time. I have mixed feelings because I don't feel like I am in a financial situation to be able to handle all of that. I may have to sell my car. We'll see. At the very least, I will not have to deal with my mother any more.

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